The pandemic has significantly impacted a myriad of aspects of society, including healthcare, technology usage, culture and interpersonal relationships at all levels. Government-imposed restrictions like social distancing and lockdowns have further worsened social isolation, leading to negative effects on finances, stress levels, a sense of alienation, and both physical and mental well-being. The disruptions in daily routines, lack of social outlets, and fear of contracting the disease have also resulted in feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and sadness for both children and parents have no done our individual and collective societal well-being any favors. Understandably, mental health issues and strained family relationships have been on the rise due to the pandemic.
Technology, specifically, is playing a crucial role in shaping modern society and is advancing at a rapid pace. Particularly during the COVID-19 pandemic, technology has emerged as a major driver of community development due to the social isolation it has caused. This epidemic has significantly impacted various aspects of society, including medical, cultural, and interpersonal relationships. Mental health issues and the quality of family relationships have been affected, primarily due to the pandemic’s restrictions such as social distancing and lockdown measures.
Further, imposed restrictions have exacerbated social isolation, leading to negative consequences on individuals’ finances, stress levels, sense of alienation, and overall well-being. Both children and parents have experienced isolation, resulting in feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and sadness. Some studies suggest that family cohesion can be strengthened during natural disasters like tsunamis, but the detrimental effects of the pandemic on mental health may reverse this trend. Research has shown that parents subjected to COVID-19 restrictions tend to have more arguments with their children. The increased psychological stress and exhaustion from the pandemic have negatively impacted parents’ mental health, although it is challenging to precisely measure the effects of restrictions and lockdowns.
Parents have experienced a decline in their mental health due to heightened psychological stress and exhaustion. They have faced the challenge of balancing remote work and parenting responsibilities, with schools and companies being closed. These factors, coupled with economic instability and reduced social support, have contributed to increased parental stress. The perceived impact of COVID-19 and parental stress significantly mediate parent-child intimacy and strict parenting practices. The effects of the pandemic and stay-at-home instructions have made parenting more stressful, deteriorating the bond between parents and their children and leading to the use of severe discipline.
The pandemic has also transformed the role of parents, as they have taken on new roles as teachers, babysitters, and play date hosts while trying to maintain a work-life balance. While this may have reconnected some children and parents, it has also resulted in increased stress and mental health issues in other cases.
During lockdowns, social interaction has shifted from face-to-face to virtual interactions, facilitated by digital devices such as smartphones, tablets, and laptops. With schools shifting to online learning, children have had to spend more time in front of screens. Excessive technology use during social isolation poses a risk of developing addictive behaviors, especially considering that social isolation itself is a significant risk factor for internet addiction. The line between responsible and careless technology use in parent-child relationships has become blurred. It is crucial to acknowledge that children’s mental health may worsen due to the excessive use of digital technology.
Parent “technoference”, which refers to parents interrupting family time to use their digital gadgets, has been identified as a source of intrusion and can negatively impact parent-child relationships. The parenting style adopted also influences the relationship between parents and children. Three parenting styles, authoritarian, permissive, and democratic (authoritative), have been identified. The authoritarian style emphasizes strict behavior and compliance, while the permissive style grants more freedom to the child. The democratic style lies between the two, emphasizing adaptability and effective communication.
Studies, which are still ongoing in quantitative terms, have shown that parenting style, along with parent internet behavior and educational background, strongly influences children’s internet use and the parent-child’s overall relationship. Different parenting styles also influence the relationship between parents and children. Generally, we distinguish between three parenting philosophies: authoritarian, permissive, and democratic (authoritative). The authoritarian style emphasizes strict behavior, inflexibility, and compliance from the child, with the parent making all decisions. The permissive style grants more freedom to the child, while the democratic style promotes adaptability, effective communication, and child participation in decision-making.
And, perhaps unsurprisingly, higher child internet usage has been linked to permissive parenting, AND parental practices have been found to influence children’s exposure to internet hazards. Clearly, a more involved parenting style predicts a lower likelihood of experiencing internet hazards.
What can you do as parents?
Try to maintain open communication with your children (to the extent they are open of course), a fundamental characteristic of the authoritative parenting style. This has been found to have a positive impact on children’s behavior, social relationships, resilience, accountability and overall motivation and achievement.
However, this will not be an easy task as we re-consider the habits, patterns and routines that we adopted during the height of the pandemic. Some of these behaviors of both parents, children and parents and children are now deeply ingrained and will require significant work on the parent-side in particular to modify. There will be discomfort on behalf of the child and they will make your life even more uncomfortable and stressful in the short-term as they may be losing control (in the case of moving from permissive parenting to more active, authoritative parenting.
One of the core goals for therapists in Naperville to enhance the well-being of child age clients, while also assisting parents in adjusting and strengthening their relationship with technology and their children. In order to make progress, we reviewed patterns of mistakes or challenges made / encountered by parents and provided guidance and helpful suggestions.
According to Tracey Ratner, Principal in Downers Grove, Illinois, school social workers and counselors recommended the following strategies for parents to promote growth alongside their children post-COVID. As therapists, psychologists and counselors, our recommendations closely mirror these:
1. Reflect and Ask the Right Questions: Parents need to honestly assess their own technology usage habits. They should consider how frequently they check emails or reply to texts during dinner, how much time they spend on social media instead of engaging with their children, and if they prioritize documenting their children’s lives over spending quality time together. By critically examining their own behavior, parents can identify areas where improvements can be made.
2. Create and Consistently Maintain Limits: Create a plan for technology use within the household. Designate specific areas or times of the day as “unplugged” zones, such as the breakfast or dinner table, or during bedtime when children are in their rooms. Allocate certain areas of the home, like the family room or reading room, as technology-free spaces.
3. Monitor Child’s Mobile Activity: Consider using apps like “Moment” or “Quality Time” to track cellphone usage. By gaining insights into where and how much time is spent on technology, parents can identify areas where they may be spending excessive time. This information can help them find ways to reduce their technology use, such as cutting back on social media or work-related emails.
4. Identify Stressors in the Child’s Life: Reflect on instances when stress from using mobile devices caused parents to be short-tempered or irritable with their children. Plan to engage in technology-related tasks during times when children are occupied with sports or other activities to minimize potential conflicts.
5. Set the Stage by Example for your Children: Remember that children observe their parents’ technology usage habits. Children often prefer their parents to be present and not constantly engrossed in gadgets. Parents should be mindful of the detrimental effects of their problematic mobile phone involvement on child behavior and aim to model healthy technology habits.
6. Promote the Benefits of Being Still, Self Entertainment (without technology) and Quiet Time (for reflecting): Emphasize the importance of quiet moments without technological distractions. Studies have shown that periods of silence are essential for brain development and creativity. Encourage children to engage in relaxing activities that allow their minds to wander freely, such as folding clothes or taking a shower. Parents can lead by example and demonstrate the value of quiet moments.
7. Turn Off Technology for Parents: Children are more likely to adopt similar behaviors if they witness their parents setting limits on technology use or actively engaging in other activities away from screens. Children learn by observing their parents, and if parents establish boundaries on their own technology use, children are likely to follow suit.
By implementing many of the recommendations above (and likely even more not listed), parents can increase their success in maintaining a healthy relationship with technology, promote meaningful interactions with their children, and create a balanced environment that supports their growth and development.
If you would like to learn more or desire support as a parent or child in navigating life post-COVID – socially, academically, technologically, within your family system, and learning what we can do best as parents, we are always here to help you at Grow. Please feel free to reach out for assistance today by calling or emailing at info@growwellnessgroup.com.
By: Adam Ratner, LCSW, MSW, MBA
