A very own member of our fabulous therapist / counselor team, Wynne Lacey, LCPC was recently featured on NCTV17's episode on "The Struggle to Keep New Years Resolutions." Thank you Wynne for taking this time to share your wisdom with our community and beyond!
From NCTV17 in Naperville, IL:
"Why do so many give up on their New Year’s resolutions? Every new year, resolutions are made, and every year, they’re then often broken. There’s even a day for it: Quitter’s Day, which falls on the second Friday of January.
Wynne Lacey, a therapist with Grow Wellness group, says breaking resolutions isn’t about giving up.
“I actually don’t think that we break or don’t keep our resolutions. I think we make resolutions that are not sustainable,” said Lacey.
Lacey gives an example of believing that we can control all the outcomes in our lives.
“Like going to college and then getting a spouse and then getting the white picket fence and then getting the career,” said Lacey. “And so there’s a very separate part of our mind that sort of tries to make that happen. And it’s actually not even true. It’s not reality.”
Lacey believes this can be a burden on the nervous system.
“There’s an anxiety issue in this country, you know, and maybe even around the world. Everyone is obsessed with controlling and it’s becoming a mental health crisis. So yeah, I think it’s a massive burden on our tiny little, you know, nervous systems and brains to think that we’re controlling things that are way outside of our control,” said Lacey.
When a resolution is set, sometimes factors negating it are out of the control of the individual. For example, someone makes a resolution to save money…but then an unexpected expense arises, like a car repair. In light of the obstacle, the person gives up.
Lacey says keeping a resolution is sometimes about allowing a reasonable time to see it through.
“So if I were going to set a New Year’s resolution, let’s pick an obvious one – losing weight,” said Lacey. “That’s probably always top of mind for a lot of people…I would spend all of January practicing acceptance, and I would do that very specifically. I would stand on the scale and I would look down at the scale. And as I feel my little tiny cute nervous system trying to control this, I would say I accept this weight and I fully love myself where I am.”
Lacey says she would then spend the month of February learning about all the things that determine weight like age, hormones, or even the amount of sleep someone gets.
“And then maybe in the spring I would say, okay, if I’m in acceptance, if I am now full of some new knowledge, what’s a true behavior that I could start to implement that is in cooperation, not control, but cooperation with all of these factors?” continued Lacey.
This cooperation can help build new behaviors, Lacey says, so people can achieve the results they want."
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If you or your loved one is struggling towards goal achievement, accountability or anxiety, help at Grow Wellness Group is a call away. Our therapist and counselor team would be thrilled to accompany you on your journey towards personal and interpersonal fulfillment!
